Do You Like Free Audiobooks?

As it turns out, free lunches do exist. Sort of. If you surrender your email address, not only will I release the hidden location of a free audiobook, but I will also hand over the coordinates to a planet of solid gold, AND the only known incantation to manifest interdimensional portals. You will also get periodic updates on new releases from S.A. Shaffer—currently ranked as the 1,456,349th best author in the multiverse. Statistically speaking, that is an elite tier.